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How to Keep Safe in School

发布时间:2013-10-10 10:35:12  

How to Keep Safe in School

Do you know that our school life could be dangerours if we are not careful enough? For example,oneday,two students ran after each other int he hallway. Suddenly, one of then fell down and hurt his fet because of the wet floor. This fore he had to stay in hospotal for two weeks. So I Ithink students should always walk but not run in the hallway. And the teachers had better keep an eye on students after class and stop them from running.At last,I hope all the students should pay attention to their safety in school. 作者能很好的关注生活中的安全隐患,并能和大家分享的精神值得褒奖。整体文章句式丰富,但个别表达可以更地道\更生动些。如it caused him have to stay in hospital. we should walk instead of running .尚需注意写

拼写细节和符号细节。批 改

1.Do you know that our school life could be dangerours if we are not careful enough? 该为Do you know that our school life could be dangerous if we are not careful enough?

2. oneday改为 one day

two students ran after each other in the hallway.注意每句话之间要空格,注意检查细节。

3.Fet改为feet.

4. This fore he had to stay in hospotal for two weeks. 改为This caused that he had to stay in hospital for two weeks.

5. So I Ithink students should always walk but not run in the hallway. 该为

So I think students should always walk instead of running in the hallway. 注意检查细节。 参考例句(文)

1. one day

2.This caused that he had to stay in hospital for two weeks.

3. So I think students should always walk instead of running in the hallway.

点 评

作者能很好的关注生活中的安全隐患,并能和大家分享的精神值得褒奖。整体文章句式丰富,但个别表达可以更地道\更生动些。如it caused him have to stay in hospital. we should walk instead of running .尚需注意写拼写细节和符号细节。

给 分 理 由

整体文章句式丰富,叙事条理清楚但个别表达不够地道如it caused him have to stay in hospital. we should walk instead of running ,因此扣分8分。拼写细节和符号问题扣分2分,总分90分

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