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卑鄙的我台词

发布时间:2013-09-22 18:25:26  

G:Well, it appears you have

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! cleared our background

check, Dr Gru.

And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements.

Thank you for that. I love reading.

And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood.

A:-Me, me, me. -Me, me, me. Kevin?

G:You had your own cooking show

and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. A:Idiot!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! G:What in the name of... What?:

a:Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry.

You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? G:Do I look like I speak Spanish?

a:You have a face como un burro.

G:Well, thank you!

a:Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited!

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G:Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. C:I bet the mom is beautiful! G:I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.

C:I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.

I'm just saying it'd be nice. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. G:That's a Cheeto. G:Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. a:Who's Debbie? G:Your wife. G:Hi, girls!

Girls, I want you to meet Mr. Gru.

He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! C;yeah!

C:Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes.

C:I got your leg, I got your leg! a:Okay, that is enough, little girl.

Let go of my leg. C:Come on.You can do it. Higher! Just release your grip. Wow!

a:How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar?

Okay, girls, let's go. A:Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya!

You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that!

You done been shrunk!

2

Yello?

I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru?

Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him,

he's gonna be begging for mercy. Okay, bye.

Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby... Curse you, tiny toilet! a:Okay, here we are. Home sweet home.

C:so, this is, like, your house? Wait a sec...

You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! a:No, that was someone else.

3

C:Can I hold your hand? a:No.

G:When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like Annie. a:No, hey!

Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, mydog. C:Fluffy doggy!

C:What kind of dog is that? a:He is a... I don't know. C:Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause it's not.

a: No! No! Stay away from there! It's fragile.

Well, I suppose the plan will work with two.

G:Hey! It's dark in here.

It poked a hole in my juice box. Rule number three. a:As you can see,

I have provided everything a child might need. All right.

Okay. As I was saying... Hey! G:Somebody broke that. a:Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one.

You will not touch anything. C:What about the floor? a:Yes, you may touch the floor. C:What about the air? a:Yes, you may touch the air! G:What about this? a:Where did you get that? G:Found it.

a:Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working.

You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle

or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?

C:Does this count as annoying? a:Very!

I will see you in six hours. C:Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes?

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